Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Autism is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects millions of people worldwide.
It is characterized by difficulties in social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors.
Although autism is becoming more widely recognized, there is still a lack of understanding and awareness surrounding the condition.
As a result, many individuals and families affected by autism struggle to find the support and resources they need.
Why Not Me The World podcast aims to bridge that gap by providing valuable information and insights into autism, fostering empathy and understanding, and promoting acceptance and inclusion.
Nashville based Music Producer Tony Mantor explores the remarkable impact his guests make by empowering their voices in spreading awareness about autism and helping break down the barriers of understanding.
Join Mantor and his guests as they delve into the world of autism and mental health to explore topics such as diagnosis, treatment, research, and personal stories.
Together, we can create a more informed and compassionate society for individuals with autism.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
BONUS EPISODE: John Rushton: Navigating Human Emotions and the Power of Storytelling
What if you could navigate the complexities of human emotion with the guidance of a warm, non-judgmental figure? J
oin us as we welcome emotions expert and seasoned traveler John Rushton, who shares his unique creation, Auntie Bronwyn, a fictional character beloved by many for her empathetic insights.
Drawing from his extensive travels, John reveals how Auntie Bronwyn helps individuals from all walks of life embrace their emotions and embark on a journey of self-discovery. T
hrough his latest book, "The Anthology of Antti Bromwen," and engaging radio stories, John highlights the transformative power of storytelling and empathy in understanding ourselves.
Our exploration also leads us to the digital realm, where an online advice platform mirrors the classic "Dear Abby" style, offering straightforward guidance in a world cluttered by social media noise.
Listen in as we discuss how this platform has become a haven for authenticity, providing users with practical advice that cuts through societal pressures.
The discourse delves into the evolution of this space over a decade, underscoring the timelessness of genuine human connection and insight.
Excitingly, John hints at the potential for these stories to spring to life through animated adaptations, promising a multi-medium experience for the audience.
We round off our conversation by stressing the importance of self-prioritization. John passionately discusses how valuing oneself as the most significant figure in one's life fosters an invincible inner strength that benefits not only the individual but also those around them.
By embracing self-worth, we enable ourselves to better support others. The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange of gratitude for the rich discussion, leaving listeners with a renewed perspective on personal value and the shared human experience.
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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Welcome to why Not Me, the World? Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor, Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Their stories Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Manter. Welcome to why Not Me, the World. Join us today. As emotions expert and author, John Rushton shares his experiences from over 40 years of global travel, revealing that people from diverse backgrounds face remarkably similar challenges. He has recently completed a book featuring a fictional character named Antti Bromwen, who provides a safe space for individuals to express themselves candidly. The book entitled the Anthology of Antti Bromwen explores a wide range of thought-provoking topics. His stories are remarkable and we're just so glad to have him on. Thanks for coming on. My pleasure. Indeed, it's my understanding that you've written a book.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I've written a few actually, but I've got a recent one.
Speaker 1:Can we get a little insight on your most recent book and what it's about?
Speaker 2:There's a story to it but it's a long story but I won't go into that. But it's a story about people's aspects of people's lives and it came about from my sort of previous books which are all about emotions, why people do what they do or maybe they shouldn't do what they do. This came to some radio programs which I was on and people were phoning in about various aspects of their lives, I mean not just oh, I feel like, not that kind of, but I mean real problems which they were having to overcome themselves, some with other people, families, friends, whatever and it came to a level where it was difficult to respond to them all from a personal point of view, because everybody today is waiting to be offended or upset or something like that. You know they're accused of people oh, I'm me next, me next, please offend me, and all that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:So we came up one evening with some friends and maybe a couple of glasses of wine that we would actually have a fictitious character and the formulated one I would call her Auntie Bronwyn, and we created her character and her background pedigree. And she was an elderly lady who has been around, done it, seen it, got the t-shirt, the beanie, cap, everything. And now she's come home to retire but she doesn't want to give up life. She's full of life and wisdom and she likes her gin and tonic late afternoon. So she's everybody's sort of favorite aunt. But she doesn't take any rubbish from anyone. She will say exactly what. It is not necessarily being offensive, but she will say exactly what it is and how it should be. She won't tell you what to do, but she'll say you know why on earth did you do that? And then when you do that, the person who's actually asking you the question has to explain themselves and normally the answer comes out why they explain themselves. And we did this.
Speaker 2:And it was so interesting that we decided or I decided to make a book of the transcripts of all the radio interviews that we'd had. And there were some amazing people, some quite sort of taboo subjects as well, but they went for it. You know, we would listen and we would get other people's aspects of life as to why it happened, how it happened. And sometimes it was quite sort of heart-wrenching as to how it happened and why it happened, completely different from a viewpoint where you were saying what about this? Oh, I don't like that, you know, but have you heard it? No, so you say, well, just listen and then I'll make your judgment. And so this is the book which is coming out shortly. I think it's 150, 160 chapters, so it's 160 different stories of people's lives and how they came about changing their lives themselves.
Speaker 1:When you hear people that call in, they tell you about their lives. They go into different things that happens during their life. How do you react to that? I mean, you've got an unknown person calling in bearing their souls to you of their deepest heartfelt feelings and emotions, so how does that affect you?
Speaker 2:Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but I don't know. But quickly, I think within the first couple of minutes, you know the kind of person. As to what some people just want to air a view about themselves, If you gave them three days airtime, they would be there three days nonstop talking about themselves. If you gave them three days airtime, they would be there three days nonstop talking about it. Other people just want to talk about an aspect of life which is troubling them, and usually you find the people who have that minuscule part, that aspect of life, are the ones who are the most interesting.
Speaker 1:That's very interesting. I think I'm going to have you expand on that, because when people are having problems within their lives, they either go to a therapist or close friends and then sometimes the best therapy they can get for their mental health is talking with someone just like yourself that they don't know but have respect for what you've done. And then they tell you their stories, where they have their emotions on their sleeves, as they would say, and then you react, give them information and then hopefully it's helped them to move on with their life that's absolutely bang on and that's why we actually developed Auntie Bronwyn, this inanimate person, and we found people would actually talk more in depth to Auntie Bronwyn online.
Speaker 2:I mean, they couldn't see it, they could see a caricature. And then when she replied, sometimes making fun of them, I mean not nastily, but saying why did you do that? What were you thinking of at the time? Don't you think that sounded a bit stupid? And there's a silence and then sometimes they burst out laughing. Well, it was, but I did it. All of a sudden you have this warm rapport which comes out and it's a free, as opposed to me telling you and you telling me and all of this kind of thing and it's quite sort of elevating.
Speaker 1:Have you had any people that have contacted you? You listened to their problems, you listened to what they had to say. Then you kind of thought that maybe they had more issues than what you wanted to deal with, but you kept working with them, talking with them, and then all of a sudden things just changed. They changed their way, which made you feel like you had really helped them move forward with their life.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think quite often people have a list of things.
Speaker 2:It's like going to the doctor and saying, doctor, I've got something wrong with my finger, and they're winning.
Speaker 2:Oh, by the way, I have this and a rash here, and a spot there and something, and it goes on and on and on, and it's a bit like that at times. You find, as you just said, if you just go through the first couple of layers, then the rest seems insignificant. If you actually tell them something to the effect that, well, look, there's one enormous thing in life which can help you, which will make you overcome all of your problems, which will give you the strength and the courage to go forward, and it's called you Go and look in the mirror and see that person and think, wow, I am fantastic, I am brilliant, I am brilliant, I'm going to come out over on top of all this. And sometimes it doesn't happen with everybody, but a lot of people, by putting similar things in front of them, they realize that you know, what they're telling me is all about them, which is quite right, but it is all about them. There's no person there to solve it by themselves. You know, the world isn't a merchant want out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, that's so true. Have you had anyone that's come to you where you just thought I don't know what to do with them? They are just so far off center. They really truly needed some professional help. How did you handle that if you had a situation like that?
Speaker 2:I'm quite blunt or anti-Bronwyn's quite blunt and saying you know, because some people come to you telling you really what is wrong with them and within that framework, they're also telling you what they want in return. No, I'm not well and I want you to do this for me basically which of course will never happen and I know quite often say, well, what I'm actually picking up from you and I give you all my sympathy and respect and love and everything else. But I think you need help, over and above what I can give you, because it seems you're in such a place where I'm not qualified to go there or understand where you're from. And sometimes, when you said that they backed down like a million miles, well, because what has happened? They've built up, they're going to come on the radio, so they've been on the phone or on the PC or whatever, and they built up a scenario as an entree in their own mind. It's grown and grown. When I get online, I'm going to tell them I'm okay, you're online and it out, it comes and it's just like the damn gates opening. You know, it's more than your faucet in your kitchen or your bathroom. It just comes gushing out in millions of gallons.
Speaker 2:And when you say that and you say, well, I sorry, I can't help you. They suddenly back, most of them suddenly back down and they're quite meek and mild after that and it's not as a lot of its own fabrication of their own worth and value and their own problems, and it's almost selfishness, like everything is about me. Of course there's a degree of it's got to be about you, because nobody else can be about you, but it's always. You know so much, everything is about me my friends, my family, the world, everything. Why do they do this to me? How can they do this to me? And the answer is quite easily Because it's not about you. It's how you react to what is happening when you're not reacting well to anything. This is your own making and that's sobering.
Speaker 1:When you've been on the radio you've had people call in. Have you had instances where you could actually hear the pain in their voice in what they're going through? And you could actually hear the pain in their voice in what they're going through and you could tell that it was real, and so real that you had to just take a deep breath and stop for a second to formulate your answer so you didn't push them over the edge and you could still help them.
Speaker 2:I have and sometimes you can hear what they are not saying and and quite often it's the people who are not saying fully, they're being quite nice about their pain and everything else. They're not screaming and sobbing and deep breaths and gesticulating and all of this you can say. They're saying it in such a sort of pleasant way and on a number of occasions I've said oh, susan or Brian or whoever do you know, if I was there I would give you the biggest hug ever, and then the tears start. Then it's all gone. I said, all right, in your own time, just say bit by bit what it is and afterwards invariably end up with, when you say goodbye, that you're laughing to each other on the line.
Speaker 1:So you've created this online form where they can send you emails and questions for the show.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Do you find yourself getting a wide range of questions that will be asked to you, because in the States we have a Dear Abby. This was questions and answers that was in the papers where they send in questions and then Dear Abby would give them advice on what she thought that they should do. Yes, she passed away and then her daughter took it over and I still believe that it runs in select papers across the country. So do you see a similarity between our dear abby and the one that you created in the uk? Quite similar, quite similar.
Speaker 2:Um, the responses are very. You get some weird people on board anyway. Hey, that's just par for the course. And you get also those people who want to tell you their life story, you know, and you can't get more than 25 pages before it cuts off and other people will give you two paragraphs or a paragraph. It's quite succinct. Those are the people who you find you can help the most because they don't waffle, they don't tell you about the weather and when they were going to the store and someone smiled at them and they wondered why. And now they're going to therapy and all this business.
Speaker 2:The entrepreneur is quite sharp with their answers because there's no good humoring people, because that gets you absolutely nowhere. I mean, they may not like it, but that's not a problem anyway, so don't like it. Next, for those in between, we had some very, very good responses back saying well, I took your advice. I didn't want to, but I took your. Well, it wasn't. We would suggest we took your suggestions and it's changed immeasurably. It really does work. I do feel better, I feel more in charge of my life and sometimes they're very simple things. But you've got so wrapped up in it, it's become habitual and it's sort of trying to pull out of the habit.
Speaker 1:How long have you been doing this online form as it is today? On and off about 10 years. In the 10 years that you've been doing this, what kind of changes have you seen from when you started to the way it is today and the way they form and phrase the questions that they ask you?
Speaker 2:I think I can honestly say about 10 years ago, when I started, people were more wholesome, they were more down to earth, they were more brisk with what they had to say. They had a problem and they told you the problem and that was it. Today there's so much social engineering picked up from Instagram and Facebook and so many people telling you have you got this, have you got that? Get this. This will help you do this. You know, did you fall down and hurt yourself? When you're at school? You may be suffering from trauma. I'm 74 years of age.
Speaker 2:Hello, you know, haven't you got over it yet? It's a bit late now and all of these kind of things and they put all I think where did you get all this from? Is that true or are you just copying and pasting it mentally from somewhere else? Because there's a lot of copy and paste. You know, they've heard phrases and sayings from the internet and they're reciting them. It's not smart, it's not good, it has no bearing on you. It's just something you think sounds good, and that's a bit of rubbish, because it may sound good but it doesn't go anywhere. Once you've got through all that and people have told you that they said well that your email sounds absolutely amazing, but I don't believe any of it at all. This is not you talking, you're you're giving snippets of everybody else. So whose life are you living? Yours or somebody else's? And well, they said. Well, I don't care what they said, you know, if they died tomorrow, you would still keep on living. So what is the problem? It's just getting really down to brass tacks.
Speaker 1:So the book's been written and it's ready to go. When is the release date for it?
Speaker 2:And it should have been this month, November, but we're hoping it will be sort of mid-December oh, that's great.
Speaker 1:So where do you see this going? What type of person do you anticipate is going to be the ones to go out and purchase this and read it? Because you've got all kinds of stories with different issues that people have gone through. So what are you anticipating on that front?
Speaker 2:I think there are three areas. There's the one, the person who's interested in sort of people's lives or social understanding of people. There's the person who likes to travel, because you can pick up the book and you can travel and read one chapter or chapter one. Pick up the book and you can travel and read one chapter or chapter one, then chapter 14, then chapter 73, then chapter 122, and then go back, so you can pick and choose from the index and what you wish to read. And then there's the other person who really just wants a sort of a more grounding knowledge of a wide specter of the population as to how they think and feel.
Speaker 2:When you've read a few, I mean, from the people I've shown to already, they said well, I never thought of that. Gosh, that's opened my eyes a bit. I never even realized that people like that would think like that and there isn't. You know. And why not? Well, it's because a lot of times things don't cross your mind. You're living your life as best you can and you're not going around being an amateur psychologist to everybody around you in the store, your friends, your family or whatever. You have a thing called to live, which is called your own life, and that's the most important thing, because if you're not important to yourself, then nobody else will be. And so it's just those three things. If we even had an interest, um, in a company doing some animation, basically sort of simpsons style, but not not like that, having characters and caricatures of the characters involved in various aspects.
Speaker 2:So there was one in particular. There was an elderly couple, and this is a religious thing, and the husband kept the wife almost locked in at home. He would allow her to go to the store, and she was 45 minutes and any more than that, and he would hit her and everything else. Anyway, this went on and one day she had enough. She just got up, literally with her purse, and left, and she was walking up and down the road outside a coffee shop and there was a woman inside and she said to her friend, do you know, I've seen this woman walking up and down half a dozen times. She just goes there.
Speaker 2:And of course the woman didn't know what to do, she didn't know where to go, she had no freedom, she didn't know who was who, what's what, and so she went out and asked her and said are you all right? She said no, I'm not. She said I'm lost. She said where do you live? She said around the corner. She said I've never been further, found her son and her son came and took her in and now she's absolutely enjoying a fabulous life. And there are lots of sort of stories similar to that, where people have just said enough is enough, and they haven't gone hysterical or going mental, they've just got up and moved. There's only one person can do this me.
Speaker 1:that's such a great story when, when we think of mental health, we think autism, adhd, bipolar and all those things. Yes, we don't think about mental health being just the everyday burdens of life that some people have to go through. Yes, that's it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what the book contains a lot of sort of everyday aspects of life which for some don't go well, of everyday aspects of life which for some don't go well, and it's not mental health. I mean, both parties are all right, but one has a controlling interest in the other or some other aspect and it's that person just saying I've had enough, I'm going, I don't care why, how I'm going, and they go. And it's quite a revelation in what they say and do and it's quite inspirational even to myself that they do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, stress and outside burdens like that put so much on a person and that can affect their mental health, just like anything else can. It comes down to, like you said before, how they view themselves, how they view the world, ultimately, how they view themselves in that world. Hopefully, stories like that that you're telling and they're reading will give them the inspiration to change their lives as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes. Well, there are quite a few like that in the book in different aspects, and that's one of the reasons why I thought I ought to put this down, pen to paper and put the transcripts down, because I thought they were inspiring and a lot of these people were not loud or brash or anything, but they just had enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Now, you've been on TV, you've been on radio, you've done all the press and all that. Have you done book signings where people have come up to meet you, where some of the people that told their stories, that made it into the book you got to meet face to face?
Speaker 2:I haven't, because my other books were launched and there were no book signings at all, but this one we are going to because we have a lot of interested parties, similar to what I've just said to you, who are interested in these aspects and they think it would be very, very good to make it available just for other people to read. And I think, as you said, wow, that's me, that's me to a T.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Actually, I think this will be a completely different scenario for you, because you're going to get a chance to meet some of these people. That will give you a completely different perspective, rather than reading something that you see in the forum yes, or from the ones that called in. I mean, you can feel the pain through words. You can feel the pain through them calling in. This time it might be a little bit different because you'll actually see it in their face as they tell you their stories again.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes. Well, the few people I sent the book to for sort of reading prior to getting it published came back and I was quite actually surprised at what they said. It was quite an emotional thing because some of them resonated with quite a few things in the book, and then they also said on things which they had never thought of before oh, I never gosh, I never realized that, or it never came to mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I get that. You know, people are all the same. It doesn't matter whether they're from the US, the UK, europe, australia, people around the world are pretty much the same they are. People don't realize this. They think they're different because they're from someplace else, but they're really not. They may speak different, they may have different things they do from day-to-day life. Pretty much no matter where we're from, we're all the same. We all have the same problems. The only difference is the location that we live and how the country handles it. Yes, yes, the beauty of this book, as I see it, is that it has common sense practices. You give great ideas and great resolutions. People have the same problems worldwide, so hopefully someone reads this, no matter where they live, gathers something from it and it helps them so that they can move forward with their life wherever they are.
Speaker 2:Well, in my previous life, um, I was traveling a lot around the world, so I've been to africa, india, china, south america, europe, across the states, canada, new zealand, indian ocean islands, all of these things and I was doing that because of my job and I was traveling nonstop, and just what you said was absolutely spot on. Everybody in every country has the same problems. It's just that they deal with them differently. In Africa, they have a lot of cultural differences, so they deal with things because of cultural differences. In the Middle East, because of their religious things, they deal with things in a different way, but it's the same problem.
Speaker 2:One thing I mentioned about the lady who actually broke free it was an Islamic family and it was a very tight Islamic sort of control of women and men and all that kind of thing, and she didn't and she couldn't and all this, these false barriers which are created in your mind Until that day she broke them and now she is well. I mean, this is going back a while now, but since she actually broke free and she went to live with her son, you would never recognize her at all. She's a completely new woman, I mean, and she's actually enjoying life.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's just great. I mean that's really great. What do you see for yourself in the next three to five years? What's your future hold?
Speaker 2:I would like to develop um more on on this book. I've actually got another one in the pipeline which I've been writing um on a slightly different level, but it's it's the same basic content, because I think it's quite cathartic listening to what other people have done, as opposed to having somebody who's a psychiatrist or psychologist telling you this and that and that and that and you should do this and you should do that, because a lot of them are not quite right themselves, to be honest, and so, but getting it firsthand from people who've done it, seen it, got the t-shirt, the car sticker, the cuddly toy and everything, they've done that from the heart. It's absolutely 100% accurate and that is where the real inspiration comes. Someone's done it and you think my God, if you can do that, so can I. I'm in a better position than you, but I'm going to do it. I think it's good.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely. What would you like to leave us with that we might not have touched upon?
Speaker 2:Just based on the book and the people in it, the most important person in the entire world is yourself. If you're not the most important person, are you the second, third, fourth most important person. When you're number one and you don't have to have riches and grandeur when you're number one, you can help everybody, including yourself. If you're less than that, you're not doing yourself any justice. When you become number one, you're invincible.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I like it. This has been great, great conversation, great information. I really appreciate you coming on my pleasure, indeed Very much so.
Speaker 2:I've enjoyed it too. Thank you for the excellent questions.
Speaker 1:It's been my pleasure. You, you, you.