Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Autism is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects millions of people worldwide.
It is characterized by difficulties in social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors.
Although autism is becoming more widely recognized, there is still a lack of understanding and awareness surrounding the condition.
As a result, many individuals and families affected by autism struggle to find the support and resources they need.
Why Not Me The World podcast aims to bridge that gap by providing valuable information and insights into autism, fostering empathy and understanding, and promoting acceptance and inclusion.
Nashville based Music Producer Tony Mantor explores the remarkable impact his guests make by empowering their voices in spreading awareness about autism and helping break down the barriers of understanding.
Join Mantor and his guests as they delve into the world of autism and mental health to explore topics such as diagnosis, treatment, research, and personal stories.
Together, we can create a more informed and compassionate society for individuals with autism.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
J.D. Barker: From Aspiring Writer to Bestselling Author and Autism Advocate
Discover the inspiring journey of JD Barker, a renowned New York Times and international best-selling author, as he shares his personal and professional experiences in our latest episode.
From his beginnings as a young storyteller to ghostwriting bestsellers and eventually publishing under his own name, JD opens up about the transformative moments in his life, including a late diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome.
With endorsements from literary icons like Stephen King and collaborations with Bram Stoker's estate and James Patterson, JD's story is a testament to perseverance and passion, all while challenging societal perceptions of autism.
Join us as JD recounts how a suggestion from a therapist led to a pivotal autism diagnosis, bringing clarity to his social struggles and strengths.
Through books, documentaries, and therapy, he embraced this new understanding, transforming his challenges into opportunities for growth and supporting others in the autism community.
His narrative highlights the balancing act of managing life with autism, particularly as a parent to his daughter who shares the diagnosis, and how these experiences shape his approach to both writing and public engagements.
Gain invaluable insights into parenting a child with autism as JD shares personal anecdotes and practical advice, emphasizing the importance of nurturing a child's interests as potential "superpowers."
He offers reassurance to families navigating similar paths, encouraging them to view autism not as a limitation but as a unique advantage.
Through his experiences, JD aims to foster greater awareness and acceptance of autism, inspiring listeners with a story of resilience and hope.
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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Welcome to why Not Me, the World? Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor, broadcasting from Music City, usa, nashville, tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Their stories Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantra. Welcome to why Not Me the World. We're honored to have JD Barker, renowned New York Times and international best-selling author, joining us today. He will share his personal journey of discovering his autism diagnosis and how he leverages his platform to challenge societal stereotypes and foster greater understanding of autism through public engagement and interviews. Welcome and thank you for coming on. Adal, thanks for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure. So if you would give us a little background on your writing, how it's developed over the years to ultimately get you where you are today, so I've been reading since I was really young.
Speaker 2:I started reading around three years old and by the time I got into kindergarten I'd read all the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drews and I was kind of really taken by the fact that you could basically create a world, create people, anything that you wanted within the pages of a book and, like that completely fascinated me. I was even writing back then. I would write these crazy little short stories and I would have a library in my bedroom, my sister would check them out, charge her late fees, the whole deal, and my parents encouraged that to a certain extent. But they also told me well, you can't make a living as a writer, it's something that you do for fun. So they make a living as a writer, it's something that you do for fun. So they pushed me down the traditional path. So, you know, went to high school, got my diploma. Then I went off to college. I was down in fort lauderdale. I was getting a degree in business and finance to pay for the, the student loans and all the debt I was racking up. I ended up getting a job with rca records and bmg distribution. I was essentially a glorified babysitter. So if you've ever seen the movie, get them to the g. That was essentially my job.
Speaker 2:So I would have to pick up a recording artist at the airport, get them to the radio station for their interview, get them to their concert and then get them back out of town. I quickly realized I had some very famous people in the car. So I started to interview them to really date myself. This was people like Tiffany and Debbie, Gibson and New Kids on the Block, Madonna. Then the hair bands came to town. We had Poison, Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Guns N' Roses. If I got everybody from Guns N' Roses off an airplane, kept them in South Florida for a week and got them back on the airplane without anybody getting arrested, that was a huge win for me. But I would interview them in the car and I would take those interviews and I would sell them to like Teen Magazine and Teen People and Seventeen Magazine.
Speaker 2:I would interview one person, chop it up into a bunch of different ones and when you work in that world you know you quickly realize everybody that works in publishing has a novel at some stage of development in a desk drawer somewhere. It's always. You know. They've been working on it for the last 10 years. It's 500,000 words long. They're almost done. They feel like it needs a little bit of work and I kind of became their go-to guy for those projects. They'd pull up the manuscript and give it to me and I would help them with anything from punctuation and grammar to story development.
Speaker 2:I used to do that for fun. It kind of kept me entertained while I was getting the degree. So on the business side I ended up getting a job in finance. Ultimately I was a chief compliance officer for a brokerage firm, which is as horrible as it sounds, and I would come home and I would write to keep sane. I did that for I think, 23 years and during that time I had six different books that I had worked on that all hit the New York Times bestseller list, but with other people's names on the cover. That gets really old after a while. So when that sixth one hit, my wife pulled me aside and she said listen, I know you want to become a full-time author. Let's come up with a plan to make that happen.
Speaker 1:I get that A lot of things happen that same way in the music business here in Nashville. So was the Forsaken your first book that you released.
Speaker 2:That was the first book that I wrote under my own name. It was called Forsaken. I got really lucky with that one. In the book I had to explain where the wife buys a journal and just to get the book finished I wrote that she walked into Needful Things you know Stephen King's store and bought it there, fully expected to have to change that, because you can't do that sort of thing without lawyers, you know jumping down your throat, knocking on the door. But ultimately I got Stephen King's blessing to use the reference and that was huge for me when Word of that got out. That's really what sparked sales in that book and started my career off.
Speaker 1:That's just so good that it happened that way, and then from there you started putting more product out there and really started flourishing as a writer and getting well known around the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, my second one was called the Fourth Monkey, and that one really took off. It was about a serial killer in Chicago. There's a full trilogy out for that one. I ended up getting contacted at one point by Bram Stoker's estate and they asked me to write a prequel to Dracula using Bram's original notes. So I did that one. A bunch of high profile type projects. James Patterson picked up one of my books at one point and read it and then reached out to me and we ended up writing not only one book together, but I think we're on five now. So we've been writing together quite a bit. So yeah, it's been a wild ride.
Speaker 1:So did you ever in your wildest dreams think that, with everything going on, that your work would rise to this level of success?
Speaker 2:No, because you know, everybody kept telling me you can't make a living doing this. And the funny thing was even the people that I worked with who were making a living at it weren't very happy, you know, like they were getting by accounting every penny that came in, and you know. So that really kept me grounded in that corporate world because, you know, I hated the job but it was a steady paycheck and it was a good paycheck so it was hard to walk away from it. I mean, ultimately that's what ended up happening. But we kind of got trapped in that because, you know, when you have a decent corporate job for a number of years, like I did, you know we had all the trappings of that.
Speaker 2:We had a big house, we had cars, we had a boat. That lifestyle is expensive, you know. So I couldn't walk away from the job because we needed the job to pay for the lifestyle. So ultimately, when my wife came to me and you, author, she came up with this crazy idea we ended up selling everything that we owned. We bought a duplex in Pittsburgh and rented out one side of the duplex and lived in the other one, just essentially so that I could live off of savings long enough to write Forsaken. Write that first book. And I got lucky, it took off and it worked.
Speaker 1:That's just awesome. We all have to have a little luck on our side. So how old was you at that time? It's going to be 10 years for me in November, so I was 43. 43. Okay, so you're doing everything right. The books are just flying off the shelf. Did you have that feeling that something just wasn't right? You got a late diagnosis for autism, so what happened that made you decide you had to check it out to see what's going on?
Speaker 2:That actually came out of the corporate world. I was chief compliance officer for a brokerage firm, which is essentially. I was in charge of making sure all the employees and clients adhered to all the state and government rules and regulations when it came to the stock trading, and I was really good at it. But the problem was I could work with numbers. I could work with computers. I was terrible at working with people and I was 22 at the time.
Speaker 2:I had a big blowout with a couple of the members of senior staff and my boss pulled me aside and he said listen, I want you to continue working here. You're a great employee, but we need to figure out how to deal with this. So he sent me to anger management classes my first session. It was a one-on-one with a therapist. She stopped about 20 minutes in and she said listen, have you ever been tested for autism? And other than watching Rain man, I had no idea what that even was or meant.
Speaker 2:She had worked with autistic children. That's what her day job was and she had seen, just in those 20 minutes. You know, a couple of signs that were. You know they were flags for her. My hands were constantly moving, doing something. I didn't make eye contact during the conversation, you know, all these things sort of jumped out at her. So ultimately I was tested and I was diagnosed with Asperger's. That answered a lot of questions for me, because up until that point I had no idea. You know why I had trouble in social situations, why I couldn't relate to other people. You know a lot of those types of things.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, you know I was very good with structure, with anything that was structured, you know, and patterns yeah, I was great at so once you started working with your therapist and you kind of figured out what was going on, how long did it take you to get your actual diagnosis?
Speaker 2:It was fairly quick. I mean, all of it came together in under a month. Three or four different sessions.
Speaker 1:All right. So once you was diagnosed, you really didn't know that much about autism and what it's all about. Like you said, the main thing that you knew about autism was Rain man.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:How did your perception change once you was diagnosed? Then what did you do to find out more about it and understand the autistic community so that you could thrive in it and help others as well?
Speaker 2:Well, it basically became another puzzle for me to solve, another problem for me to fix. And once I approached it from that standpoint, I was kind of all in. I got every book that I could find on it, every documentary. I just researched everything I could and at the same time I was working with that therapist and she helped me with the simple things like eye contact and stuff like that. It just pointed out you know what I was subconsciously doing and, like, once it was brought to light and I saw it.
Speaker 2:You know, there was a couple of sessions where she just videotaped conversations, even the fact that I talk fast I mean, I still do that today but like she, you know, explained why I talk fast and how it was impacting other people that couldn't follow a conversation at that speed. So once those things started coming to light, I was able to address them one at a time and now I'm 30, some years in, I can have a conversation and make eye contact. I have to force myself to do it, you know, which is another whole thing, but I can, you know, more or less play the part of somebody who's atypical I guess is probably the simplest way to describe it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I find that pretty interesting. I've talked with a lot of autistic people over the last several years. Most of them will talk slow. Some are a little bit faster in speech than others. Very rarely do you have anyone that's actually a fast talker. What did your therapist think that could have caused your fast talking?
Speaker 2:your fast talking. Well, for me the reason she pointed it out I was doing something called cluttering at the same time, so somebody would ask me a question and I would get three to five different answers to that question, would all pop up in my head at the same time and then I would try to verbalize all three to five of those answers all at once. So what should have been five different sentences basically got all mishmash together and came out, you know, in like this word vomit, and that was why she brought it up. She basically taught me to, you know, slow down the conversation a little bit, grab just one of those answers out of the air and just verbalize one of them rather than four or five of them all at the same time. But you know it still happens with me, Like when I'm excited about a topic, I tend to talk really, really, really quick.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I mean that makes total sense. So you mentioned briefly that you was focused on things. That's one thing that autistic people that I've dealt with had in common is they become very focused, and when they do become focused, they tune out the rest of the world and only focus on that one thing. Did you find that that was what you'd been doing pretty much all your life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's exactly what happened. I mean, it was something that I've been doing, you know, all along, but never really realized it. I just that was my norm, that was just the way things was. But until she pointed it out and said, hey, you're doing this, you know, I didn't realize that I was actually doing it. But, you know, at that point we basically created more or less a pro and cons list. You know, here are the things that are negatives, that we should try to work on, here are the things that you should focus on, because autism, you know, not only did it have negatives but it also has some pretty strong positives, a lot of the things that I was able to do in the corporate world.
Speaker 2:A typical person may not be able to do what I do today. You know, writing books, like I mean, you can see my desk behind me. It's more or less empty, but I'm working on eight different books right now, all at the same time, and they're up here, they're in my head, like that entire structure is there. I used to write computer code. If you write any type of computer code, when you write that first sentence, you have to understand how it's going to impact the last sentence and everything in between. Writing a book to me isn't different. It's that I see and I'm able to recognize. My wife calls those superpowers. You know, like we basically the autistic the good things that came out of it. You know we focused on those.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is just so good. I talk with so many people that have kids or they've been late diagnosed, like yourself, and they often refer to their autism as their superpower and I think that's just great. So once you started putting it all together and you started understanding what you had to deal with, you kind of knew something wasn't right, but you didn't know that it was autism. You kind of knew something wasn't right but you didn't know that it was autism. So when you met with your therapist and was diagnosed as autistic and you were living the way that you lived, so once you got that diagnosis, how much did it change your lifestyle and the pattern in the way that you live?
Speaker 2:today. Yeah, I think I tweaked the existing patterns. For anybody like me, patterns are extremely important. A rigid schedule for me is extremely important. So when those things change, my world kind of goes into chaos. Because those things were brought to the forefront, I was able to recognize them as the day went on and adjust for them. And it's been 30 some years and I'm still doing it today. It's not something that goes away.
Speaker 1:Right as they say, and it's been 30 some years and I'm still doing it today. It's not something that goes away. Right as they say, autism is a lifetime thing, it's not just part time. So how did it or did it affect your circle of friends once you got diagnosed and found out that you were autistic?
Speaker 2:Well, I've always kept my circle of friends fairly small. I think that the ones that you know, people that were close to me, I think it was it created an understanding for them too. They understood why I was just a little bit different. I'm very big on having dialogue about that sort of thing, you know. So we talked about a lot of it. I explained how I perceive certain things.
Speaker 2:My wife has been a tremendous help in all this, because in a lot of ways, as an autistic person, when I'm out in public I'm putting on a particular persona. It's almost like I'm an actor. I'm mimicking what people expect me to be, but you can't keep that up 24-7. So when I'm home, my wife sees that other side of me. That's very helpful too. In a lot of ways she helps me understand somebody who's atypical. So if her reaction to something is different from my reaction, she explains why, and you know I try to understand it from her standpoint and vice versa. So, my friends, this entire time, the last 30 years, they've all kind of been like that. They've been my sounding boards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great way to look at it. That's a great way to handle it. I spoke with an autistic guy that was married to a neurotypical woman. They had a very inspirational way of looking at it. They looked at it as two different people from two different cultures living in the same house and learning how to adapt to each other, and it's been extremely successful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's essentially what we do too, and I think you know, if you're in a relationship with somebody like that, where you are so different, I think that's extremely important. We've got a daughter now who's seven years old and she was recently diagnosed. We both brought certain things to the table because she doesn't have a lot of the symptoms that I have. She's got her own set of symptoms, but you know, I was still able to recognize some. But you know, we're able to talk out a lot of this stuff, I think on a level that a lot of other couples probably couldn't.
Speaker 1:Okay. So how is she handling it? Is she thriving and doing good, or is she having some difficulties dealing with it?
Speaker 2:A little bit of both. You know, I started seeing things when she was maybe 18 months old. You know just little things. You know like she would build like a block tower and like if she was stopped before she finished, you know like she would get very upset about it, like she needed to finish whatever tasks she was working on. To me that was a red flag. But at the same time I kept telling myself well, you're looking for stuff where it may not be, because she had no trouble making eye contact. She has no trouble being touched by other people where I. You know that completely freaks me out if somebody touches me and I'm not ready for it. She's very good in social situations. So you know it's a very different set of things. She's got her own issues too. But the nice thing is like she was diagnosed at six. You know she's seven now.
Speaker 2:We found it very early and her school has been phenomenal. Our teachers have been phenomenal at, you know, helping with that. Back in the 70s when I was, you know, like it wasn't even something they looked for. You know you were the weird kid they pushed off into the corner and that was it. In today's world they tend to embrace it. They find ways to work around it. You know she's fantastic at math. She's not very good at reading, but you know they're focusing their efforts on reading and coming up with different ways to teach her how to read. So far it's been great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I spoke with a lady that kind of thought the same thing as you just brought up. She felt like she was the odd person out and got pushed over into the corner, just as you spoke of. She found out that she was autistic in her late 40s she said that she feels like she lost four decades. Her 50s was just fabulous because she knew how to work around and what to do, so when she hit 60s she said life was just great. You also brought up another interesting topic Do you have any issue with textures? I know a lot of autistic people have either food textures, clothing textures that it just really doesn't work with them. I know a lot of autistic people have either food textures, clothing textures that it just really doesn't work with them. Do you have any of those issues at all?
Speaker 2:I can't wear wool socks, is that? Yeah, there's, there's certain things that for what? I can't explain why, but it's just as horrible to me as nails on a chalkboard, like hearing that sound. And again, my daughter doesn't seem to have any of that, or if she does, we haven't noticed it yet.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's great. So what about food textures? Does that bother you or her?
Speaker 2:She's at the stage where, like, she won't eat anything but pizza and macaroni and cheese, no matter what. So I'm not sure if that's autistic or just her being seven. I know I went through that early on. I had trouble with different colors of food. I still to this day, like, if you put a plate of you know in front of me, I eat everything one at a time. So I will eat the protein, then I will eat the potatoes, then I will eat this. You know where somebody else might just kind of pick it everything individually, not necessarily a problem, just something that's different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, sure. Now what about meltdowns? Does she or you have a problem with meltdowns? Meltdowns, Does she or you have a problem with meltdowns? I know you mentioned that you'd get upset in the corporate world. Was that a meltdown or were you just getting upset it?
Speaker 2:was like a low scale meltdown, I think I mean a lot of. I tended to go off on my own if that sort of thing happened, like I could feel it coming on, and I tried not to let it happen in front of other people. My daughter we saw that also very early on. But you know at the time, daughter, we saw that also very early on, but you know, at the time we didn't know what it was was. Is this a two year old throwing a temper tantrum or is this? You know something? Something bigger it's. It's tough to tell.
Speaker 2:When our teachers started telling us that she was shut down on the playground because her friends didn't want to play whatever game that she wanted to play or didn't want to finish, you know like they were acting. We knew that there was something there and again, she's received a lot of a lot of help and support along that and she doesn't do it anymore, you know. So. She doesn't know that she's autistic. She doesn't know that there's anything different about her, which I think at this stage is good. She had a little problem and you know she worked through it with the adults in her life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, as long as she's learning, growing, I think that's the way it should be and eventually, because she's got supportive people around her, she'll grow. She'll learn that she's autistic and the people won't mind because they understand her, and she won't mind because she understands what's going on, and it'll just make a better environment for everybody involved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's definitely what we're seeing. And her friends, even at this age they're, you know, they don't notice it at all. I don't think that's going to change, whereas when I was seven, you know, they, the kids, definitely noticed it. They made fun of me, they, they wouldn't talk to me or whatever. I don't know if it's a generational thing and just kids are different these days. I don't know if it's the particular school she's at. I'm grateful that she's not going through that, though.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I don't think things have changed that much. One of the biggest things that I hear from all the parents is how their kids still, unfortunately, get bullied. The second thing that they fear is the females masking it and trying to fit in, because that makes things very, very tough for the girls as well. I think the one good thing is that she's being raised properly. You've been through it, you understand it, and that gives you the opportunity to help her get through it as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, we're already seeing that. You know there's. You know, if we as a family, like if we have a particular problem, that or something that she's doing, you know, a lot of times I can talk to her and I can relate to her on a level that maybe my wife can't, because I've been there and done that, and then I can explain it to her and I think that that's helpful too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. Now that you've adapted, you understand what you have to do, you understand who you are. What do you see for yourself over the next four or five years? Do you see yourself still growing, evolving and building upon what you've already accomplished?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I think I've got you know from a treatment standpoint, I think I've got it dialed in, I've, you know, narrowed down. You know what was an issue before and I think I've kind of curtailed it. Where I find myself slipping and walking a tightrope is, you know like I write books for a living. It's a very solitary thing. I literally sit at that desk for six to eight hours or so all by myself, documenting what I see happening up here in my head. I could spend 24 hours a day doing that.
Speaker 2:I'm perfectly comfortable in my own space all by myself, more so than I am with other people. But the flip side of my particular job is I do have to get out in front of people. I was just recently in Budapest and Istanbul and had close to a thousand people that had a book signing. I had to get up and give a talk, I had to shake hands with everybody. I had to sign books for a couple of hours. So I'm thrown basically into the complete opposite of what I consider to be my comfort zone. But I sort of forced myself to do that because I find that the more often I do it, the easier it becomes. I could easily slip back into just 24-7 being all by myself, you know, like I was when I was younger, but by forcing myself to do these public appearances and things like that it kind of keeps me. You know, I got one foot basically in each camp.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes absolute, perfect sense. When you get ready to do these big events that have thousands of people and you have to take and meet and greet them, do you feel any anxiety prior to it, during it or even after you've had the event?
Speaker 2:I don't get anxious about it anymore. I did at the beginning. I've kind of gotten past that. What I find happens is that when I'm in those situations, I'm basically dialed up to 11. You know, I'm putting on a persona, I'm basically becoming the person that they expect to see and I have to keep that up for X number of hours, x number of days. When I get on the flip side of that, I tend to crash. You know, my batteries are completely depleted and I need to recharge. So, like in this case when I was on that airplane, I basically slept the entire flight back because I was completely exhausted from what I had done the few days before. That's never changed and I'm pretty sure at this stage it's probably not going to. So when I'm in a public situation and I'm forced to put on that persona, you know, to deal with those social situations, there are repercussions, there's a you know, there's payback for that.
Speaker 1:Right. So that actually requires a lot of energy from you. Where other people could slide in and then slide out and leave and not feel the effects Many might not realize. Talking with people shaking hands, meeting, greeting requires so much energy from you to do an event like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, any typical person can go to a party and have fun, right? They can chat it up, they can have conversations, they laugh at the jokes. You know it's an entertaining, fun experience for them. For me it's really not. I'm there, I'm mimicking what I see other people doing. You know, somebody tells a joke and I'm laughing because other people laugh, not necessarily because I saw that. I thought that was funny. Again, that's not something that has ever changed and I don't think it ever will, but that takes energy to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. You just brought up an interesting topic. You mentioned that you would see others laughing at a joke possibly, and you'd laugh along because others are too. I've spoken with several autistic people that when they're around people one-on-one and they're joking and carrying on like that, they have a hard time processing it. Do you have that same hard time difficulty in processing somebody that's trying to be humorous in a one-on-one situation?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's very, very difficult for me and I basically want to run away, you know, and go to the corner of the room somewhere. But I've taught myself over the years not to to just stick it out and try to deal with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you handle something like that? I mean, you just brought up the fact that you like to get away if you can, and you have a linear way of thinking. In most cases like that, then they're making their movements or facial expressions or whatever they're doing to put the joke across. How do you process it and what do you do so that you can get through a situation like that?
Speaker 2:It's really through mimicking, right, you know, it's like I smile when I know I'm supposed to smile. I, you know, I laugh when I know I'm supposed to laugh, but those aren't necessarily, you know, true emotional reactions. They're. They're me flipping a switch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get it. You do what you have to do and that way you can move on. So now your daughter's seven. What do you see for her in the next five years? She's still learning, adapting. How do you see her evolving over a period of time?
Speaker 2:I think we're just going to keep a very close eye on everything. You know, like I mentioned, she's very good at math. She's not quite as good at reading and writing, so we're focusing on that. I'm keeping a real close eye on what she likes to do. I'm blessed to be able to do a job that I absolutely love, like I would do this for free and I get paid for it. I'd love to see her fall into that same thing, and I don't know that that necessarily means she's going to become a painter. She may become a computer programmer or something else, but I want to make sure that she does what she wants to do. You know I'm there for her to help guide her through those more difficult things. You know the things that she doesn't understand, where she has problems. I can be a guide for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great idea. So what would you tell a parent or someone like yourself? They're living their life and then, all of a sudden, they're getting diagnosed. What would you tell them now that they're just finding out that they are diagnosed autistic? What advice would you give them to help them through their journey?
Speaker 2:I speak to a lot of parents and one of the reasons why I do stuff like this is just to try to get that word out there. I'm fairly successful, I've got a good career, I'm doing what I love to do. You know, I'm 53 years old at this point, so I'm kind of on the other side of that. So if you're a parent and you've got a two-year-old that isn't speaking, or a two-year-old that's banging its head against the wall on a daily basis, you're trying to figure out how are we going to get through the next 16 years of this? How are we going to raise our child? For them? It's helpful to see somebody like me. You know somebody that has gone through it and has gotten to the flip side. So I try to talk to parents about that sort of thing as much as possible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's great because one of the most common things I hear is when a parent first finds out that their child may be autistic is they are thrown in this world that they know nothing about. They have to kind of learn it as they go because there's no real manual that they can learn and then come back and use. They have to live this every day and start their journey, worrying every day about their kids, and it's tough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the thing is, you know some of the most successful people in the world are autistic or were autistic, you know, so sometimes it helps to seek them out and, you know, figure out how they got there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. There's always a path, they just have to find it. So what would you like to leave us with?
Speaker 2:No, I think that that's basically it. I mean, if you've got a child that you recently received the diagnosis on, get out there research it understand what you're dealing with. It's not a bad thing. You know, autism has given me you know, like my wife had said superpowers. You know, like I'm doing something that I normally wouldn't be able to do without it. Your child will be able to too, you know. You just have to find what. You know what is their superpower and you have to hone it. You have to help them focus on it and get them excited about it.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Yeah, that's a great thing. Well, I really appreciate you coming on. I think this has been really really interesting, a good conversation, and I think people are going to enjoy it. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you, that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to TonyMantorcom contact then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask tell everyone everywhere about why Not Me, the World, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone everywhere that you are not alone in this world.