Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Autism is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects millions of people worldwide.
It is characterized by difficulties in social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors.
Although autism is becoming more widely recognized, there is still a lack of understanding and awareness surrounding the condition.
As a result, many individuals and families affected by autism struggle to find the support and resources they need.
Why Not Me The World podcast aims to bridge that gap by providing valuable information and insights into autism, fostering empathy and understanding, and promoting acceptance and inclusion.
Nashville based Music Producer Tony Mantor explores the remarkable impact his guests make by empowering their voices in spreading awareness about autism and helping break down the barriers of understanding.
Join Mantor and his guests as they delve into the world of autism and mental health to explore topics such as diagnosis, treatment, research, and personal stories.
Together, we can create a more informed and compassionate society for individuals with autism.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kadin McElwain: Conquering Autism Through Family Support, Advocacy, and Digital Storytelling – An Inspiring Journey of Personal Growth and Resilience
What happens when you refuse to let a diagnosis define your future? Join us for a powerful conversation with Caden McElwain as he shares his journey from being diagnosed with autism at two years old to thriving academically and pursuing a degree in public relations.
Listen as Caden recounts the unwavering support from his parents, his transition from specialized to mainstream education, and the resilience he displayed despite facing bullying and academic stress.
Hear about his ambitions to advocate for the autistic community and his goal to work at a nonprofit organization focused on autism.
Explore the impact of a strong family support system in Caden's life, from therapy sessions to overcoming anxieties about learning to drive.
We delve into the significance of understanding and patience in helping people with autism grow and succeed.
Discover Caden's expanding reach through social media, where he shares his journey, written work, and sports column.
Don't miss this episode of "Why Not Me," filled with personal growth, resilience, and the importance of sharing inspirational stories.
Tune in and be inspired by Caden’s extraordinary journey.
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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Welcome to why Not Me? The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor, broadcasting from Music City, usa, nashville, tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Their stories Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance and a better understanding for autism around the World. Hi, I'm Tony Minotaur. Welcome to why Not Me? The World. Today's guest is Caden McElwain. He joins us today to talk about his autism and how he plans to use his platform to be an advocate for the autistic community. So thanks for coming on, thanks for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure. So what age was it that you was diagnosed autistic?
Speaker 2:Well, I was diagnosed when I was two years old, so I don't remember too many details, but I remember it was right after I got smallpox vaccination, which was a coincidence, so that of course, didn't cause my autism. I always find that funny, though, since that conspiracy theory is out there, and I remember when I was diagnosed, the very doctor who diagnosed me said to my parents don't expect college from him, expect trade school at most for him in a group home. And my parents weren't going to tolerate that or have that. So they invested so much time and energy into me to get me to where I'm at today. That's great. Now I'm going to college, doing all this cool advocacy work, appearing on platforms like this. I got a story in Autism Digest that comes out in August for their back to school list too. Oh, if it wasn't for my parents' dedication towards me, I doubt I would be in the position I'm at today, and I'm extremely grateful for them.
Speaker 1:That's awesome that they had that kind of support for you. So what led up to them realizing that they had to get you diagnosed for autism?
Speaker 2:Well, I've never really asked that, if I'm being totally honest, but most likely it was falling behind on verbal communication skills, like not talking for a long time, not being able to look people in the eye, not interacting with people, heightened sensitivities to sound and light and that kind of thing. I don't have those sensitivities in particular much not, but I know those are very common in children diagnosed at a young age.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how old are you now? I'm 20 years old as of Tuesday. Okay, so what do you remember about school? Was you in a private school, public school? What are your memories of that, on your first days of going to school?
Speaker 2:Well starting out, I went to a specialized school to help me get ready for public school. But then my parents decided to mainstream school me at a young age, kindergarten to be exact. They knew what I was capable of. They had the doctors and the various family members telling them that I wasn't going to be capable of anything and I said start looking for group homes and trade schools now. But as I told you, my parents weren't going to have that. They knew I was capable of doing amazing things in this society. They knew I could handle public school. They ignored the naysayers and enrolled me and I thrived, like I always do, at least academically.
Speaker 1:So did you have any problems in school? Did the kids bug you, bully you, anything like that? How did you do in school overall?
Speaker 2:Well, like I said, academically things went fine In fact I was one of the smartest kids in the class. But socially, elementary school was fine. I was popular because back then they didn't see differences and they were taught respect, depending on the kid. But middle school and high school as typical with anyone, not just people who are neurodivergent it was a nightmare of bullying and discrimination, especially with students. To be fair, though, I stuck my nose in a couple people's business throughout middle school and high school, For example, like telling on kids who were on their phones during class and petty stuff like that. Looking back on it now it's actually kind of funny. But I do say that those kids have known I was on the autism spectrum, or at least different, as I think. If they had known because I didn't interact with many of the students, then I was total bookworm, as we say, and a good student, so I never had time for those kinds of interactions. Then maybe those students would have better understood the situation.
Speaker 1:Sure. So now you're going to college. So what's your major now that you're in college?
Speaker 2:Ironically, given I have trouble with certain social elements public relations. I initially wanted to work in the music or politics industry, but those two industries are extremely toxic One you got to work for a big name client and for another politics to be exact. You can make it big depending on the politician, but you have to throw away your morals and that's just not the type of person I am. So I think now I want to work for a nonprofit organization centered around autism, so I can continue the advocacy work I'm doing now.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's great. I think you're right on a lot of points that you just said. So is this your second or third year at college?
Speaker 2:Third year actually, I just finished off my sophomore year and I got my fourth consecutive Dean's List in a row last semester. Wow, that's great.
Speaker 1:So you mentioned that you lived in Nashville for a while. Wow, that's great. So you mentioned that you lived in Nashville for a while. While you was here, what was your main focus?
Speaker 2:Well, I was mainly focused on completing high school. We all moved down there as a family. Then COVID hit and everything was online, as you know. So in a way, the online thing was a blessing in disguise for me, because I didn't have to worry about the stigmas, didn't have to worry about the bullying and being treated unfairly. It was just me and the computer. And thanks to the online education I got, I ended up graduating a couple months early, on Valentine's Day of 2022 to be exact.
Speaker 1:So over the years you've had to deal with bullying and all those type of things. What are the challenges that you deal with today? Has anything changed there?
Speaker 2:About the same stuff as when I was a teenager the social stuff, taking things literally, not understanding facial expressions as much as I said and honestly holding grudges against people for a while over stupid stuff. I can't go into the details of one of those grudges out of respect for those involved, but those are the main things. Okay, I've been really focused on my mental health and self-esteem this year particularly. I've been going to therapy, working out, trying to eat better. I was able to kick energy during to help improve my mental and physical well-being. Next is coffee and fast food, that's great.
Speaker 1:Eating healthy is a very good thing.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to be 20 years old forever, so it's important to me to focus on my mental health and physical health now so I can live a prosperous, happy life later.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. So what's your dream job? You're doing advocacy now. You're promoting as much as you can. You're going to school for PR. You eventually want to get into that for a living to help autistic community. So what's your dream job if everything fell the way that you want it to go right now?
Speaker 2:I'm already doing the advocacy work now. It started with a class project for my freshman year of college in 2022. The assignment was to think of a way to help the community. So my group and I set up a GoFundMe for Volatilism Society of America. We ended up raising over $1,000 for that organization and we won a contest with our project. But I saw as typical with my generation, the TikTok generation, my group really wasn't into it. They only wanted to do the assignment to get the grade and the brownie points and prize money we got for winning the contest.
Speaker 2:And I know autism isn't a cause commonly paid attention to in mainstream media and politics. There are a couple of bills out there that's come to my attention recently, but I still say we definitely have a lot of work to do. We truly do. So I thought, hey, if no one else is taking this serious, I might as well start a movement. So that class project led to a bunch of different opportunities for me. That's awesome Appearing on platforms like this to tell my story, meeting up with politicians in my area to discuss ways to help the autism community, planning fundraisers for the autism community, planning events for the autism community. So I think eventually I want to work with an autism organization.
Speaker 2:My dream job if I didn't have to worry about taxes, mortgages, loans, bills and all the other adult responsibilities responsibilities would be to be in the music industry as a singer-songwriter. But there's a lot of struggling singer-songwriters out there, as I'm sure you know. You're in that industry. I want to work for an autism organization the PR department to be exact, as a hobby. I definitely want to continue the advocacy work I'm doing now as a hobby. I definitely want to continue the advocacy work I'm doing now. Eventually, once I have that success in PR and all the other endeavors, I want to run for political office in my area or in this country. I think we need more neurodivergent minds in government, just so we can teach the world kindness and compassion and unity for once.
Speaker 1:So do you have an organization in mind that you would like to join or be part of once you graduate from college, so that you can get your life started the way that you're hoping to see it go?
Speaker 2:Well, I've Mainly been looking for autism organizations, but I'm open to anything. I got an internship waiting for me for as controversial as they are in this community Autism Speaks, who I hold a couple of grudges against for their past controversies, but I will say I'm giving props for giving me a chance, trying to put more neurodivergent and autistic people onto their board and moving along with times. So I got that internship waiting for me come spring of 2025. I'd be open to any autism organization. I'm just a guy who believes in this cause.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. I applaud you for that, because everyone has to have a cause and this is a great one. So if you find stress is getting to you, or just life in general, what do you do as a stress buster just to relax and get away from it all?
Speaker 2:like if I'm under stress. You mean a good stress coping mechanism I use is putting on a song and zoning out. One new song I discovered recently actually today, to be exact. It came out today at the time of this. Recording is Temporary by Eminem on his new album.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you say that your goals are to help the autistic community and build as much knowledge as you possibly can Do you have anything else that you love to do? That is a side job or just something that you really like to do, Something that maybe people thought you couldn't do? But this is your way of saying hey, look at me, I'm doing what I want to do.
Speaker 2:Well, like I said, eventually I want to run for political office. At first I thought I wanted to run for president immediately and be the first neurodivergent president in US history, but I think I got to get some political experience first. So I think I want to start small, go towards a position like commissioner or senator or that kind of thing and, in the sense of short term, I definitely want to continue the stuff I'm doing now appearing on these platforms, telling my story, giving speeches, planning these events. I got junior year of college coming up in August. I'm hoping to get another dean's list two more technically, one for each semester to even me out to six and, in the sense of long-term when it comes to college, if I can get eight consecutive dean's lists for all four years of college, that would be awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that definitely would be awesome. That would be just great for you. So you said that in your early years you had some sound issues. How is that today? Do you have any problems with sound, whether it be loud or different things? And if you do, how do you cope with it?
Speaker 2:I think I've grown past them. I handle crowded spaces extremely well. In fact, I love going to clubs and events and things like that whenever I have time.
Speaker 1:That's great. I'm glad to see that you've got past that. So what about textures of food? Some autistic people have different things that they can't tolerate and just can't fathom. Do you have any of those problems at all? How is textures of food for you?
Speaker 2:As a matter of fact, I do. For some reason, I hate peanut butter and nuts and breakfast cereals and stuff like that, and I think it's definitely because texture, because it's weird. I used to love peanut butter when I was younger. I would have on pancakes, I would have it on pretty much anything. Then one day I just pretty much stopped loving that. Oh, and mac and cheese Kraft mac and cheese, to be exact. I just can't tolerate that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Now what about textures of clothing? Some people have that as an issue. Does that bother you at all?
Speaker 2:No, not at all, unless you count itsy sweaters, which all people probably despise. I don't have any texture issues when it comes to clothes.
Speaker 1:Okay, good, good. Now what about focus? Are you one of those that, when you start digging into everything, you just become so focused and you dig into it until you just get where you want to be on it?
Speaker 2:definitely. I have four jobs I'm working right now this summer, and whenever I'm on a task, I'm super hyper focused and I get the job done. That's honestly why I'm such a great worker and a great student, because once I start studying or working on a class project or working on a job, I'm extremely focused. In fact, focusing on academics in this college is one of the reasons why I don't socialize as much as I'd like to, because a lot of the students in college waste away their parents tuition money and their student loans and what have you to go out and party and vape and smoke and do all that, and I'm not into that. I'm a guy who thinks rules should be followed and people should focus on their academics, which I think is also part of the autism for me. So I'm incredibly focused on my academics.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So what about you? What kind of a support system do you have? You mentioned your parents pushing you and wanting to help you. What kind of support system do you have from friends or other parts of your family?
Speaker 2:Well, I have my parents. They've been my biggest supporters, even when I didn't deserve it, and I'm extremely grateful for them. And I also have accommodations I get from my university testing accommodations to be exact, which is simply a quiet space to do the test in or the examination, or whatever, and extended time on said test Okay, now do you have any other family brothers, sisters or anything? Yes, sir, I have one older sister and four younger siblings.
Speaker 1:Okay, how do you get along with them? Everything good with them.
Speaker 2:With my big sister. It's complicated when I'm getting too mad. Our relationship is a love-hate dynamic, if you will. But with my younger siblings I'm super sweet to them. Most big brothers or big sisters would be mean to their siblings, but I'm not like that at all. I'm extremely nice, extremely compassionate and I think not like that at all. I'm extremely nice, extremely compassionate and I think our bond is super strong.
Speaker 1:Okay, good. So with everything that you're doing now college and everything do you see them a lot? Are they in your life? How's the dynamic with them now?
Speaker 2:The dynamic's definitely good, Bear. I interact well with my siblings, as I said, and I'm in their lives. There was one semester in college where I didn't call my family at all because I was going through a tough time transitioning into a new school, because I actually transferred from another college to the current college I'm going to now. I was struggling with the class subject, math to be exact, which I still struggle with, quite frankly, but the math class I'm taking this semester is going to be online and I concentrate better online when it comes to math. The subject was wrestling me out to the point of me getting sick and passing out and breaking down into tears every day, and that little incident alone is what inspired me to start going to therapy, start working out and start taking better care of my health.
Speaker 1:So has therapy helped you quite consistently. Have you seen a difference from when you started it to where you are presently?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I absolutely see a difference. I've been learning to embrace myself more. I haven't been harming myself too much when it comes to academics and adult stuff and hiring myself too much when it comes to academics and adult stuff. That's been a major part of the current success I'm having now.
Speaker 1:So you've got what?
Speaker 2:one more year or two more years of school I got two more years, so this upcoming year and then next year.
Speaker 1:Good, good, good. So when you were younger and you was going through some of the struggles, how did you see yourself get through them? Did your parents help you through it? What kind of structure did you have set up that got you through so that you could keep moving forward?
Speaker 2:Like I said, my parents have been major supporters of mine in this living life. They've put in so much time and energy into me, sometimes at the cost of their own sanity. Occupational therapy, physical therapy, aba therapy, cussing out teachers at IEP meetings when they weren't doing their jobs the teachers that is Right, right.
Speaker 1:So you had ABA therapy. How long did you have that? The?
Speaker 2:very last year of high school, when I was about ready to start preparing for my freshman year of college.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So, other than ABA therapy, did you have any other help during your teens and younger years?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had the school resources. I had an online class, a good relationship with my teachers, a supportive set of parents. I had a lot of help.
Speaker 1:Good. Now you had your siblings. That was part of your life while you was growing up. How did that dynamic go with you growing up with your autism? Did they understand it? How did they learn about what you was going through?
Speaker 2:Well, they were younger than me. The first younger sibling is nine years old, with the youngest being six years old. So we did have to explain autism to them and we just told them autism isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just a different way of thinking.
Speaker 1:Right, right, Exactly Now. Some autistic people had issues with major meltdowns. How did that work for you? Did you have any major meltdowns or difficulties of that during your life?
Speaker 2:When I was younger I used to throw those kinds of things, so I can't really go into the details of them because I hate thinking about that time. Because they did get dark. I needed second, third and fourth chances before I got the help turned my life around and I get stressed and anxious about things, but it doesn't escalate to the point that those tantrums and meltdowns go to and I think people need to understand that. People with autism, they will grow out those meltdowns. They'll get the resources they need, especially if they're high-functioning. They just need a chance and time. I used to have these kinds of fits.
Speaker 1:I needed second, third and fourth chance. You just need to give them a chance. Sure, Right. So what do you do for things that might be a little out of your comfort zone, but some things that you need to do to expand so it allows you to open your mind to newer things so one thing that's out of my comfort zone currently is driving a car and getting a license.
Speaker 2:Really don't get it. I've had a permit for a couple times. Now that's expired. I've been super stressed to take it again, especially now that the book's online. Maybe it's because of the safety measures on the road that I definitely got to work on driving, but with everything else I'm easy going. I like giving things a shot, especially if they're out in my comfort zone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's great. So is there anything that I haven't asked that you might like to discuss so that listeners get a better appreciation for what you're trying to do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what I am is a guy who sees mistakes that were made in the world throughout history and wants to correct them. I think the world is super divided right now, but if we unite together and realize we're all the same and put our differences aside, we can make the perfect society.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So that's your goal of trying to help make that happen.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So now that we're wrapping this up, tell me what's the rest of your day looking like. Do you have any plans for the night?
Speaker 2:Well, my younger siblings are having a sleepover down in the basement where my room's at tonight, so, okay, I'll be making server save and get to bed on time, but nothing else. What's just chilling, watching youtube and getting ready for a hike tomorrow?
Speaker 1:oh, okay, so where are you hiking I?
Speaker 2:don't know the trail yet. All I know is is it's most likely going to be 10 miles.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, good. So you do a lot of exercise. Do you do running or hiking? What's your pastime? One of my?
Speaker 2:pastimes is running. I used to be in my high school's cross-country team, but I've been really getting into weightlifting this year, okay.
Speaker 1:So do you have a dorm at school or do you live at home and travel back and forth and do that?
Speaker 2:I have a dorm in a roommate at school. I'll have one again this year. Hopefully he's not as bad as the last one was. So there was this roommate I had that would vape in the dorms, and it came to a point where I just didn't veg out in the dorms anymore unless it was to sleep and get dressed. I mainly hung out in the little lounge area. They had to do my studying and, true story, I actually slept in there a couple of times without knowing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what do you see as some of your strengths, now and then? What do you see as some of your weaknesses you got to work on.
Speaker 2:I'll start with the weaknesses, because they make the strengths better. I would say the social stuff for the weaknesses I got to work on and mainly my ego a little bit. I can get overly passionate about certain things and that puts my endorphin button, as my dad likes to call it. But I've been working on that and not being on a high horse so much, and the positives is I'm extremely grateful. I've been learning to embrace who I am. This year. I have a cause that I believe in now and I'm incredibly passionate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good. That's really good. That really puts everything together. So how can people follow you? Are you on social media and all the platforms out there? You can follow me on.
Speaker 2:Facebook at Caden Ronald. Follow me on Instagram at 70freeposts. Here, all one word. Check out my written works on the sports column at Caden McQueen K-A-D-I-N, M-C-E-L-W-A-I-N. And you can check out my past interviews by typing in my name, same as the sports column one, Caden McQueen.
Speaker 1:Well good, yeah, I really appreciate you coming on. It's been great. Thanks for having me. Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to TonyMantorcom Contact then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask tell everyone everywhere about why Not Me, the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone everywhere that you are not alone in this world.